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Falling off the wagon

A typical human cycle is we do something until we feel better or get the results we look for and then slowly or suddenly the thing stops being done, until one day we wonder why we are feeling so rough, or have suddenly put on the weight we've lost or feel so much more stressed than we had done, or maybe even we not sleeping again.

We moan and complain, or just feel like we're quietly or loudly going insane with a busy brain that just won't shut up, until the lightbulb goes, I stopped eating that, doing that, making time for that, that's why I feel like I've gone backwards.

The truth is it takes more than one thing to make our lives run smoothly, to help us to feel well and strong. When people ask me how did I get on top of my health, its never one thing, it was a mixture of mediation, yoga, walking, eating cleanly, reducing my work load, getting early nights, taking hot baths, reading instead of watching tv, spending as much time in nature as possible, hugging my horses, and writing. This list of things needs to be done daily for me to stay healthy, free of symptoms and able to function.

Its all linked, if I work to long hours I don't have time to prepare healthy food, if I don't meditate my brain is so busy focusing on the little pointless things I get stressed out when bigger things come my way, if I don't move I feel weak but I also have a fizzy excess hyper energy that then goes into working harder, which then means I eat more rubbish, which then means by the time I get home I have no energy or want to run myself a bath or to spend time in nature and all I end up doing is vegging out on the sofa and staring into a black box in the corner of the room which I absolutely hate doing so then I beat myself up for it and the cycle continues.

And I'll stay in this cycle until I realise that I've fallen of the wagon...big time, crazy exhausted ill Meg returns and I wonder why?!

Gabby Bernstein calls it the work, you've got to do the work to stay a 10, and if you don't do the work gradually your number will drop and suddenly you'll be a 5 and you forget how you got to being a 10.

The path to self care, self love and health is a path of work, there needs to be conscious decisions as you go through you day, does this help me achieve self care, self love and health or does it stand in my way? And when we can't pick the one we want we have to ask ourselves deeper questions, is it worth it? How long can we continue to pick the wrong answer before we become a 5 and what can we do to stay a 10.

This calls in some harsh truths, truths about maybe the job your doing, the relationship your in, the lifestyle choices your making, what paths have you walked down that take you closer to self love, self care and health and what paths do you walk that take you further away?

The work includes, what your input is, what do you surround yourself with? From the company you keep to the radio station you have on in the car, to the tv program that's running in the background that your brain is soaking in, the magazines you read to the newspapers that arrive on your door, all this is a sort of energy that washes through you body, triggering responses that you may not even notice are happening. If you have a narrative of anxiety and fear, reading the papers and listening to the news will cause this to be raised, because the narrative of those things is fear, every story comes from a place of fear, of concern and not from love.

What you eat is a form of energy, pre-packaged food made in a factory by robots and handled by people who are stressed and not looked after in their jobs is an energy that passes through your cells, fresh food that's been handled by people who love it, who take pride in it that food comes from an energy of love and that energy washes through your body. Sourcing that food takes work, but it doesn't make it more expensive, I went to the market this morning and got a box of fruit and veg for £20 with no plastic, that would normally cost me £50 in the super market covered in plastic. It just means we have to think more and plan a little harder.

I say this from a place of love and not judgement, I'm writing this because I too have recently fallen of the wagon, over the past few months I've taken to grabbing a coffee over a healthy piece of fruit, eating a chocolate over making a juice and diving into the super market to grab an evenings meal for us rather than plan my week, I'd forgotten to do the work too.

And what I've noticed most of all, is my soul aches, she literally cries each time I do this, as she knows this isn't my truth, so I'm getting back on the wagon of self work and stepping it up. I want my soul to sing her beautiful song and I want my family to be healthy and nourished, inside and out. I don't want to be sponsoring big corporate companies when I buy multipack crap I want to get to know the local market person, the lady selling eggs from her driveway and the people who have an abundance of courgettes right now.

I want the energy that runs through my body from what I surround myself with, to the choices I make each day to be as clean and light as I possibly can and I want to be a 10 again.

So aswell as eating right, as I plan my teaching I will plan time for the whole chain to come together so that I can do the work, fully and whole heartedly.

What's your work to make yourself a 10? and where have you fallen off the wagon recently? Don't beat yourself up if you have, don't even worry about why, use that energy to jump back on and get yourself back up to a 10 again.

Meg xx

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