Do you ever get that feeling that the same patterns keep coming in your life and you just don't understand why?
These patterns may show in slightly different forms, maybe you keep finding friends who make you feel yukky, or you find yourself let down by someone, maybe you find that loved ones are fine and then suddenly they're not with you, or you keep falling down the rabbit hole of doing a job and then having to get out because it feels toxic or just plain wrong.
This blog was sparked by a conversation I had over the weekend, when she expressed her concerns that the same things keep happening and she wasn't sure how to feel about them, was it all her? Did she do something wrong? By leaving these situations was she running away or giving in? What was the pattern trying to tell her.
The reoccurring patterns that happen in our life are cycles, and if you don't like the cycles that you are on, if the patterns feel negative and clench rather than positive and light then we have to spiral those cycles all the way back to the first time this pattern appeared in our lives.
Its really easy to take it out on the current pattern, the current person whose triggering us, r the current situation, and thinking that if we leave that situation, get rid of that person, then all will be fine, but that won't stop the cycle, it will just move you into the next cycle, with the same pattern. Because patterns are hear to teach us, they're hear to show us what we need to work on.
So yes, if your current job is toxic you probably do need to think about moving on, if that friend who makes you feel yukky is still around you may have to think about saying good bye, but that's not enough, if you really want the pattern to end you need to go back.
When did the pattern first appear and what was the trauma around that pattern, did your best friend as a child screw you over, did your parents hold your emotions as bargaining tools, did you have to be perfect to be rewarded with love, get straight a's or nail an exam.
The moment that those patterns were imprinted within us, and not dealt with was the moment we were placed in the cycle. And each time we find that pattern in our life we find that it hurts so much because it triggers you not only now, but you from all those years ago.
For example, I had a friend who always made me feel shit, they'd jibe at me, poke me, and generally pick on me, but I thought she was my friend so waved it off, until one day I realised how shit it made me feel, what she was doing was subtle, but what it triggered in me was the feelings of friends bullying me as a child, this showed me I hadn't dealt with that enough, this pattern of people making me feel shitty was reoccurring.
I eventually had to step away from my friend, she wasn't good for my soul, but I also knew I had to deal with my past. I had to explain to the child in me that it wasn't ok what the girls did to you, and that I was right in feeling how I did, like I was an adult talking to my younger self. The work there is done, and I feel at ease with my past, and the patterns have ebbed away, when someone makes me feel shitty, instead of doubting myself now I know that I can walk away, and I pick up the signs quickly too, instead of getting into the pattern once more.
So if you're in a cycle, a pattern that keeps reoccurring, what are you being taught? What are you being shown to look at? Where did the cycles start, and what does the younger you need to hear so you can finally move on.