In my classes I try to allow women the chance to tune into their own instincts, to find their inner voice and actually listen to it.
The reason for this is because for many years my inner voice was stifled as most women's voice is, not because someone was trying to do it on purpose or because they were mean, just because the language we use, the trust we have in qualifications over instincts has meant that for many years if someone who we deem has more qualifications than us we have to hand over our own inner knowledge and bow down to their opinion.
But recently I've had a few incidences where this has come smack into the forefront of life and its got me thinking.
For years my health has been a challenge and because of this I have lost a ton of confidence with my own body and so that has been why I teach this practice, But what I have also realised is that I had been constantly searching for a reason and blaming myself for my illness because I had repeatedly come up against people in the medical profession that would dismiss it. I have been so lucky in the last few weeks to have found a Dr who has been willing to listen and trust what I know about my body, in having that sudden confirmation that I am not indeed MAD or EXAGGERATING or CAUSING my illness it has not only allowed me to have further tests, but also has allowed me acceptance of the fact that what I am feeling is valid, and that I am not just lazy.
I have realised in this acceptance that it wasn't the fact that I was living in denial about being ill, but the fact that people who we inherently trust caused me to be in denial about it and question it all together.
What I'm trying to say is, we can trust ourselves but we can also find that when our feelings are constantly being dismissed that that trust and acceptance of ourselves slowly or quickly ebbs away.
Which leads me onto this next feeling, coming out of lockdown!
This one is a message for us all, do what feels right for you and not what people tell you is OK to do!
As we make this next adjustment into our new way of living we're having a lot of messages being thrown our way from 'the powers that be' that we are safe and ok to do different things, we will also have friends and relatives inviting us and an element of pier pressure to do things that may be within the new rules, but still don't feel right to us.
This is what your practice on the mat has been all about, the moments where others may go deeper but your instincts tell you to stay a little less, the moments where everyone else stays seated for meditation but you choose to follow your instincts and lay down because that's what YOU need. All those times you've learnt to tune in and listen, its now that you're being called to use those instincts and LISTEN.
Because you know whats right for you and your family, you know what feels the best way to live right now, deep down you have all the knowledge you need inside. You can do research and listen to experts but it still comes down to you, what are you feeling about something and how can you live true to yourself.
There will be challenges and times where you're asked to dig deep, there will be times when you feel to do something is against the crowd, but this is what being true to yourself is. And what I've learnt over the years of having to try and find my own instincts when the world feels like it wants to tell me otherwise is, that if you ignore them, if you just do what everyone else does when inside your screaming this doesn't feel right, what happens is you chip away at that connection with yourself, your soul, your inner voice, and that's how we become lost.
And I'll finish with this, I heard it the other day and it seemed so true
"We're being told we're all in the same boat, but actually this isn't true, we are actually all in the same storm, but in very different vessels. Some people have big sturdy boats and are safe to keep on sailing, others may need to take shelter for a while until this storm passes"
And there's a myriad of different versions of vessels that we are all working our way through this storm in, so just because it may be right for you friend or the people down the street, don't feel like it's right for you. Your vessels may be very different.