Meditation....or as I call it sitting....taking time to allow my monkey brain to SHUT YHE F#*k UP. As I sit my eyes even find it hard to stay closed sometimes, there’s a flickering of electric energy buzzing under the kids and it feels like I have to clamp them shut, but then as I sit longer and focus on my breath the energy of fizz starts to subside, I start by watching my breaths length, gradual...ly and patiently deepening and lengthening it until I find it filling my lungs softly without force. I even out the length of time with each inhale and exhale and spend time watching this flow, rolling in and out and feeling the sensation of breathing properly.
As my mind starts to let go and I feel ready to sit (sometimes I’m ready within seconds and sometimes it takes a while) I say my prayers of gratitude and start my Mala mantras, on each bead I take a full breath (in and out) and say a positive affirmation that feels right for me that day, currently mine are all about self love, 108 beads later maybe I feel I go again, or maybe I start to chant, repeating the sound AUM on each exhale until it vibrates through every cell in my being.
And then, well, I sit, I sit in the silence I’ve created from within, and feel what it’s like to be me under the layers of energy and thoughts that so often are the main focus of living in my head.
This silence is addictive and yet also opening, as each day passes and I sit more I remember what it’s like to be still, to be me, and become at peace with the swirls and storms of my mind.
Slowly but surely love pushes out the fear and a slowness envelopes me, it’s in this I find clarity, it’s in this I find my greatest lessons.