Where do you hold your emotions? What barriers do you place up?
After having a kitchen conversation with a good friend I realised I still wasn’t letting myself fully love and and letting others fully love me. The trauma of past hurts still gripped around my heart as walls that wouldn’t let anyone in.
A fear of being hurt once more, a fear of letting go of the control, a fear of being totally and... utterly exposed still sat so deeply inside.
So my mantra this year has been to allow myself to fully open and love, to feel every part of it, to open my heart wide and full and allow myself to shed the fear of the past. From loving Tim and my friends and family to my animals, to fully surrender to every emotion and feeling that comes with it.
I’m no where near fully open yet, there are still aspects where my monkey brain comes in and pulls the draw bridge up, but the freedom I’m already feeling with fully surrendering is immense. Back bends are all about the heart, expanding our heart chakra and opening ourselves up, as a teacher I watch people struggle with the thought of backbends and see it as a physical thing rather than an emotional thing, in the end to open ourselves fully is HUGE especially if we’ve been hurt before, but as we explore our back bends, our heart openers, just like with every other opener, we gradually peel back the layers, and find that it’s not so scary in the end, but it takes time, patience and trust, not force or manipulation. To really open to love is ultimately to open to the truest energy of life, and when we reach that we really allow ourselves to be free.