After the wedding it’s been hard for my brain to stop fizzing, it’s taken a full 3 weeks and a car to crash into me to finally say to myself I need to let go of the planning.
Before the wedding I was planning our house renovation and before that I was studying at uni and before that I was selling a business, somewhere in that I’ve set up the yoga studio, built my lessons, moved house and felt with finding out I’m celiac, learning to eat new things and manage my health.
All that in 2 years.
I’ve always moved quickly, juggled a million things and never stopped thinking but I know deep down it’s not good for me, it’s not what my soul desires nor what my heart sings for.
I want to have time to tend my garden, grow my own vegetables and make nourishing food for my family, I want to walk my dogs and see friends and breathe, and mostly I want to be at home. I’ve never really spent much time at home, unless I was ill, always bouncing from one thing to the next and feeling guilty if I stopped.
But the past two years have been an unravelling of that need to be doing and slowly, slowly as the busyness has delayered from keeping others happy to more personal goals I now feel ready to start to slow.
I realise for those of you that have followed me for a while and read my numerous posts, this all sounds familiar, and no doubt in 4 months time I’ll have another swooping incident sent by the universe to remind me of this feeling as I gallop off down another path of planning, goals and ticking boxes.
But as Yoga is a practice of constantly drawing back, this is my greater practice, the regular reminder of what my soul and heart really want and the practice of coming back to that over and over again. As @littlefrogyoga1 reminded me today I am the flow, I must remember to live it. And so as tomorrow brings a new day, I set my intention, to be more present, to water my flowers, cook my food, and enjoy being a “human being”.
Night night beauties. Sleep tight.